The Purple Earrings

This morning, I had a severe panic attack because I could not find my favorite purple earrings. 🙂

But of course,  as you could guess, it wasn’t just about the earrings.

So I figured I’d take this as an opportunity to reflect.

For those who struggle with clinical depression, OCD or anxiety, or the related, at times there are moments where the small things serve as triggers, and when the trigger is pulled, it can be a sign that we need to step back, slow down, breathe, and recharge.

There is nothing abnormal about it, even though our minds and how we interpret the real and perceived stigma in the world around us, tells us it’s abnormal.

But even as God was the only witness to what happened to me this morning, unfortunately, as usual I still felt overwhelmed with shame for a panic attack that was out of my control. Sometimes we think we are doing so well, and when something like this happens, it feels like we went backwards and all the progress and fighting is erased at least for that brief moment in time.

For many of us, there will always be shame. Because we have been conditioned to believe this is how we must feel, no matter how much we try to break that conditioning. 

But I am determined to ensure that the generations to follow will not have this same conditioning.

Nevertheless, this attack served as a release for me, and when I centered myself, sat down, took some deep breaths, drank some cool water, and read the quotes and affirmations on my bedroom wall, I was able to use this experience, not as a setback, but as that critical reminder, a moment to tell myself that IT IS OKAY, I am OKAY.

Ultimately, I was able to find my favorite purple earrings.  They were entangled deep within all my other jewelry.

Just like our “peace of mind” often gets entangled among all that “unnecessary noise.”

It can always become untangled with sincere patience and forgiveness for yourself. 

Elsa

Warrior KQueen