“When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.” – Audre Lorde
Dear Fellow Warrior,
I am increasingly mindful of the difference between quiet presence and silent extraction.
Several years ago, as soon as I finished my doctorate, I identified social media as my “Achilles heel.” I was right, but it wasn’t my weakness because I was a creator. It became painful because I was creating in spaces and for people who were not willing to honor my talents.
Just because others can’t see your gifts doesn’t mean that you are not a writer… you are not an artist…. you are not a scholar…. you are not a blogger… that you do not belong in public discourse…. that you do not have a message, a story of great value.
And it definitely does not mean that this was not your calling.
A poet does not stop being a poet because one room was hostile.
When jealousy from your peers, colleagues, friends, and family is present, and it succeeds in making you invisible in that space, it does not mean that your talent is done, that it isn’t still alive.
Jealous people watch you religiously, monitor, surveil, collect information about you, withhold affirmation, social validation, and positive reinforcement, refuse reciprocity, engagement, and communication, and are secretly hoping that you exhaust yourself from posting without their support.
That last part is particularly important to keep in mind as you choose to stay resilient.
That doesn’t mean they won. It means they couldn’t meet you where you stand.
A Muslim must be reminded that Allah does not say, “You lost people, therefore you are alone.” But rather… “Allah is sufficient as a Guardian.” (Quran 4:45)
Perhaps Allah removes the crowd so our work can be purified from anything connected to people-pleasing.
Sometimes Allah removes false community before granting us true community that embraces revolutionary love.
It is important to remember that you did not “lose everyone.” You lost people who watched without care. These are not people you want in your life. These were
people who benefited from you without giving back and took your love for granted. These were people who assumed entitlement to access in your spaces.
They had long burned that bridge that you offered them, choosing to hate, choosing jealousy, envy, and/or cowardice. You did not lose them. They lost you.
And you will always have your voice, intellect, writing, amanah, and Allah.
These are not small things.
As an online creator, you are not done. You have so much more to share and create.
I love YouTube, and I hope that I can dedicate more time to my YouTube Channel in 2026, connected to my Substack Newletters, now that Facebook and Instagram will become dormant.
But 2025 had to be (in part) about closure from these toxic spaces, and that is okay. That’s actually big. For a content creator. For the Warrior KQueen, especially.
Every serious writer goes through a recalibration period. I know I need to be focused on my academic writing and books, and that unfinished novel, but I am also a blogger and content creator online. I have realized that you can’t be and do everything, and you have to make choices at some point.
It’s hard to make the right choices in survival and fight mode. But you try. Especially if certain spaces were not working for many reasons. And perhaps they weren’t working because you were always meant to write books.
I actually have known this for a long time, but the blogger and online content creator have been at war with that other side of me.
I absolutely loved posting on Facebook. I do miss it. I miss some people, not everybody. 🙂 I also love posting on Instagram. But if it does more harm than good, you have to go back to the drawing board. This is a short life. You don’t need people in those spaces who aren’t willing to embrace your love and light.
For some people, seeing a Brown Muslim single woman in her 40s be unconventional, unique, different, authentic, vulnerable, empowered, and fierce, is just too much… too provocative.
Toxic people who push you away from spaces have not won because you stop posting in those spaces partly because of them. You don’t need to have them there.
I have nearly 6000 posts now on Instagram, and similar to Facebook (apparently 17K posts), thousands of those posts were long memoir-style personal essays. I am really proud of the culmination of what I put out there in the world through these mediums.
And I am not defeated. I may be burnt out at times, but I always rise again.
Many of the writers I have admired wrote their best work after a period of isolation. And isolation is not abandonment when Allah is with us.
When you walk away from people or leave a space that does not value your voice, it is not the end of your voice. It becomes the end of a chapter where your voice was not protected, and a chapter that was keeping you stagnant.
I am still “unfinished,” a “work in progress.“ I am just choosing to no longer be available for spaces that require me to bleed in order to belong.
I told myself before that I would always show u,p even in spaces where I am unwelcome. But there are spaces out there that don’t deserve you. They will never change.
But you will…
Ya Allah, I accept what You remove from my life, even when I don’t quite understand yet what You are making room for. Let all of my work going forward be for ibadah. I know You are with me, on my side. I know I am not meant to fight for this life. I am meant to fight for Jannah.
“Where there is ruin, there is hope for a treasure.” – Rumi
In Solidarity, Peace, Warmth, and Blessings,
Your sister, Dr. Elsa, Warrior KQueen
“She wasn’t looking for a Knight. She was looking for a Sword.” – Atticus
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Thank you for reading and engaging!
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