“Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise so I am changing myself.” – Rumi
Dear Fellow Warrior,
Today I celebrated my 40th birthday. It was a tough one for me I hope to be sharing this brief 5-minute speech tonight at my favorite restaurant in Washington, DC, Busboys and Poets. I’ll let this be part of my reflection post for turning 40. Hope to update this page with a picture and the YouTube video of my speech in a few days.
Additionally, please stay tuned for my forthcoming blog piece about “Re-introducing the Warrior KQueen” and a few other blog pieces connected to this milestone birthday. I appreciate you for reading and listening as I continue to share my story, and I hope it offers some inspiration and resonates to yours as I continue to evolve in my blogging journey with you.
If you find any of my work inspiring, you can do one or more of the following on my milestone birthday:
Subscribe free or paid to my Substack Academic Newsletter: https://qualinquisition.substack.com/
Subscribe free to my YouTube Channel here: https://www.youtube.com/@drElsaWQ
If you are on Medium, please follow me and Subscribe free here: https://medium.com/@elsatalatkhwaja
Follow this Chronicles of the Warrior KQueen Blog. I will provide an updated easy access to Follow button in the near future. But there is one small one for the time being at the bottom of the screen you may find at the Home page.
Follow me on Twitter, Instagram, Linkedin.
Lastly, I like coffee, so you are welcome to Buy Me a Coffee HERE if you’d like to support my work!!!
Thank you and watch out for more updates in the near future!
UPDATE:
Here is the video of the speech at Open Mic Busboys on my YouTube Channel:
Here is the video of my reflections after the Busboy’s open mic moment:
*******
Okay, here’s the Birthday Speech script:
Dr. Elsa, The Warrior KQueen’s “I Made it to 40” Birthday Speech at Busboys and Poets – DC
Hi Everyone.
So, a month ago I bombed a presentation at an academic conference. (It happens! Wasn’t a total failure! lol)
I understand that presenting your life’s work in front of super smart Political Scientists is not quite like Open Mic at Busboys with super smart Revolutionaries like you. 🙂
But I had to come back here today, for a little redemption.
And because Today is my Birthday. I have now entered the 4th decade of my existence.
I am reading this as a speech to honor this moment. But I do hope you sense some sincerity and heart in my message.
I didn’t want to be here. And I don’t mean Here… with you. I mean “Here.” I expected to be “somewhere else” at this time of my life.
I expected to be an author of many books.
To have published my novel.
To be a successful entrepreneur.
To be teaching at a University as a Professor.
To be advising on policy recommendations on global affairs.
To have become a Prolific Writer and Painter.
I may not believe in the institution of marriage, but there was a small part of me that thought I‘d be hitched by now…
Or at least own a few baby goats. 🙂
(I believe my dowry reduced from 12 to 3 baby goats since 2020. So let’s see if there are any takers. :))
Anyways, I’m not there yet.
I may never achieve any of those dreams.
But, I’m with gratitude to be “Here.”
Embracing my authentic Indie Soul, I haven’t “perished.”
I have some peer-reviewed work and many pending.
I have a new Substack Academic Newsletter.
Over 250 blog posts across other platforms like Medium and my personal blog.
Over 100 paintings, a few sold for charities and displayed on exhibition.
Over 175 videos uploaded on my YouTube Channel @DrElsaWQ
Have advocated for Suicide Prevention, Mental Health Awareness, and other causes for many years.
In a few weeks, it will be my Three-year anniversary, for achieving what I thought to be an impossible dream, becoming a PhD Scholar.
I have, for the past 15 years, embraced “my teenage dream”.. of living, working, and studying in our nation’s capital. (As the little Brown girl from small-town Wisconsin) .
I was supposed to be here at this very moment.
But it is still hard to grasp. … I’m fighting a numbness I haven’t felt before.
We are conditioned to “hold our tongue”… & let go … of all the pain and injustice.
Without any dissent or defiance.
At times I feel many have failed me.
And in turn, I allowed them that much power over me, to ultimately keep failing myself.
I have been defiant of being “Misunderstood,” and “Invisible”.
I realized many years ago, that being an authentic, ambitious, honest, unconventional woman will be a tough and lonely road.
As I’ve approached midlife, competing only against myself, I may have fallen behind…
But while I have been healing in transition, I’ve been yearning to awaken and explore the world.
I belong “on the move.“
And I must keep sharing my story, because it is a story of an Underdog, unwilling to give up.
No matter how many voices and forces out there, and ultimately, in here, tell her “she can’t.”
People feel threatened by the Underdogs, especially women of color “on the rise” defiant of societal expectations, because there is indeed something special inside us that keeps us moving.
I consider reaching 40 an Accomplishment.
Partly because 14 years ago, I predicted that I wouldn’t make it to 40.
Today, I’m still alive.
I still struggle with my Suicidality…
But I am not just a Survivor.
I am a Warrior.
The Warrior KQueen was a mantra for self-empowerment that I’ve honored for the past decade, and I intend to take it with me even stronger into this new decade.
I am proud of standing true to my story, regardless of the Stigma, and fighting for my life.
As a Muslim, we believe that our bodies belong to God. And To Him I will return, someday.
For now, I must steal from Jennifer Holliday.
“I’m Staying.”
And You. And You. And You.
You’re Gonna Love Me!
So Here’s to a New Beginning.
I am Dr. Elsa Talat Khwaja, PhD.
The Warrior KQueen.
My story isn’t over yet.
At times I will be that “Invisible Revolutionary.”
Just a face in the crowd… “Taking it to the Streets.”
But I too deserve a chance to “change my stars.”
Atticus the Poet reminds me…
“I wasn’t looking for a Knight. I was Looking for a Sword.”
Still determined to find it, embracing exactly who I am:
One who’s never afraid to reach the peak of a mountain and scream, “Free Palestine.”
Even if I’m thrown back to the bottom...
I’ll find my way up again.
Staying Resilient.
Hitting Refresh…
Happy Birthday, Dr. Elsa, Warrior KQueen.
Allahu Akbar!
Thank you and Good night!
********
I have stated before how the Japanese Proverb, “Fall 7 times, Get up 8,” has become the proverb of the Warrior KQueen.
Staying Resilient, Empowered, Connected.
Thank you for reading and listening. I will share the YouTube Video later this weekend and update this post, as well as my official annual birthday reflections, as I hit refresh in a new year and new decade.
“To be Great is To be Misunderstood.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson.
“The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.” – Albert Camus
I look forward to continuing these difficult conversations with you.
Solidarity, Peace, Warmth, and Blessings,
Your Sister,
Dr. Elsa, Warrior KQueen
“She wasn’t looking for a Knight. She was looking for a Sword.” – Atticus
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