This is a piece I wrote when I was 14 years old, something that has come to define my struggle in many ways I didn’t realize until I grew older…a poem I often go back to from time to time, in order to regain some strength. It is a poem I have shared with various audiences, but haven’t published. I choose to publish it here as I begin this new blogging experience…


A desperate challenge has been attempted

A temptation to jump one mind to another

Gathering, collecting, absorbing

Such rampant rationale of unconscious, unenlightened benightedness.

An intense pressure to comprehend

To justify and contemplate

To analyze and formulate

An inference declaring a reasoning behind

No peace existing

Within heart and mind.

The body….restless…

Appalled by exhaustion

Has chosen to remain awake

For the option of sleeping….of leisure…of rest….is beyond transgression

As the heart signals a threat

Foreshadowing a catastrophe

Of an upcoming warfare.

Shall the heart listen to every command from its commander?

Amazing and yet intriguing

What could happen if one manifested

All that takes place within this entity

Stamped with no identity.

I shall explain

That all this pain

Is not necessarily a mind game

I profess

What is compressed beneath the chest

I contest

whether I am one playing these mind games

Or rather

if one other

has chosen

Without consent

To create this dent

And play these games with me.

There is a need to request

For an explanation

Of the difference

Between one kneeling

Pressing the forehead to the ground

And one kneeling

With head…hands raised towards the sky

When no one is around

Asking why…

Why I appear to have no shape

No form

No flesh

No blood

No body

No identity

Hence… humanity.

Why I appear to be unseen



When I speak, no one hears

When I move, no one views

I come to question my own identity

If my mind is spurred with worthless thoughts

Then shall I not be deemed worthless?

So you give me a choice

Between the rope, the gun, the blade, and poison

And blame these attempts upon the surrendered mind.

Perhaps I have surrendered to the blame

And played myself that mind game.

Yet I still remain

Invisible in your eyes.

Still profess a need for a compromise

I come to improvise.

The significance of my existence.

For the trumpet will be blown

And all shall be known.

So I am inquired why I have been so tense

I choose to provide this very inference

As I have sensed…and come to conclude

That indeed my simple presence

I will intrude

Shall be…

a favor to humanity.


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