“My silences had not protected me. Your silences will not protect you.”
– Audre Lorde
Dear Fellow Warrior,
I wrote this a few days ago and thought to post it here. As I was writing, I painted the featured painting above. I called it the name of this blog piece. I feel I could have done more with it, but I felt I needed to restrain myself; I didn’t want to be too loud.
Because that would mean less love from the world, right?
The more silent you are, the more love you will get, as a woman, no?
I’ve been thinking a lot about how much a silent woman is appreciated.
One who keeps her mouth shut.
Doesn’t make any trouble.
Doesn’t “cause any problems.”
Doesn’t have any grievances.
Doesn’t challenge the status quo.
Doesn’t dare to take the spotlight.
Just remains silent. Keeps that rock on her tongue.
Just someone who lets things be, just as they are.
Someone agreeable. Diplomatic. nonchalant. chill… Follows all the rules.
She’s so likable, isn’t she?
People appreciate her more, no?
You like me better when I am quiet, don’t you? When I am not writing, painting, or posting on social media… When I don’t have ideas. When I just listen to yours. When I don’t break the rules.
Don’t say too much. Don’t reveal too much information. Don’t be too vulnerable. Too “extra”?
People like that kind of woman, don’t they?
A woman who doesn’t “color outside the lines.”
One who doesn’t add too much bling… just enough to not discomfort others.
One who doesn’t advocate for herself, nor for her sisters.
One who doesn’t mind being invisible – who lets others keep her that way.
One who cares so much about how the world feels and thinks about her… making her “proceed with caution” in response to the gauntlet of evil eyes.
One who is too afraid to put her authenticity on display.
One who wouldn’t dare to question the boxes she’s placed in.
She doesn’t raise her voice.
She doesn’t raise her hand.
She doesn’t raise the alarm.
She doesn’t take the stage.
She dims her light.
Because to empower herself would mean a lack of humility, right?
Because we taught her not to… didn’t we?
Because we punished her when she expressed herself in any other way, besides what the conventions say.
Because we rewarded her when she kept her feelings, opinions, and dreams to herself.
A silent woman. Likeable. Agreeable. Lovable. Desirable.
A silent woman. Praised. Adored. Appreciated.
But remember, not too much, just enough…
Until the silence becomes too loud for her.
Until the screams she has trapped inside demand to be heard.
Until the silence starts to rot her from the inside.
And the box, the glass placed around her, breaks.
Until she remembers…
she was never born silent.
She was trained to be silent.
And with all the unlearning that must be done, she has been slowly emerging.
Not as the Invisible woman, a “damsel in distress,” that they all want her to be.
But as an invincible warrior, ready for the Ultimate Revolution.
Gosh. If only I were a silent woman.
“When a woman finally learns that pleasing the world is impossible, she becomes free.”
– Glennon Doyle
Solidarity, Peace, Warmth, and Blessings,
Your Sister,
Dr. Elsa, Warrior KQueen
“She wasn’t looking for a Knight. She was looking for a Sword.” – Atticus
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